as fast as i can.

today is a day that i feel like i need to run.

::: run from :::

this computer

school

my thoughts

my responsibility

fear

myself.

but i'm stuck. here in front of this computer. waiting for time to run from me.

plus, if i tried to run - i would have to stop, from an asthma attack.

looking at that picture confuses me. i see this person that i had been. so motivated, determined and driven to accomplish the hard, difficult things in life. i was stubborn - unwilling to give up or allow people to tell me i couldn't. because i knew i could.

i'm sorry for the seemingly pessimistic attitude - i'm drained. school has sucked the emily out of me. honest and sincere. my attitude of determination and confidence is so easily taken, when it used to be so difficult.

i guess, i'm just tired.

but i want to run. so hard and so far. that feeling of pounding pavement, exploding heart, deep breathes, completed with a totally clear mind.

i will do it. eventually.

and maybe if i do - if i run in the snow everything will feel more clear, clean and beautiful. i can focus on my chilled nose rather than a chilled feeling.

i look forward to spending time with this boy i love. this one i choose to love. and he made it so easy. so easy to love. so easy to smile.

deep breathe. because i can.

organize by day

i'm really in love with repetative design lately - don't know why. oh, and greys and yellows.

i use a planner every day - scheduling patients, reminding me i'm a procrastinator on homework, and when i need to stress out because i have an exam.

i love them. planners.

*great stocking stuffer - husband.

found at etsy via this great blog.

at dozi

rest your head.

another coveting find on etsy. i have been a 'favorite' of this shop for a long time now. there was a pillow, of which i loved that would have looked great on my yellow chair. someone else saw its beauty, and snatched it. lucky.

i'm all about these fluffy treats. they can change any detail, bring together any mismatched goods, and are so cozy to wrap around.

pillows & throws. i could have a thousand.

i love days like today. i get to come home, spend some time with err...around the husband and enjoy free internet at the shop while he gets his hands dirty.

i don't need to worry.

my tests are done. i don't have to scramble to find a patient for tomorrow {thank you sterilization rotation} and i just get to sit back and do whatever i darn well please.

so here i am, envying the things. the things that are too much money. the things that inspire me. the things that catch my eye and make me think.

i can breathe. and i love it.

the light we share.

eek.

i'm in love.

via bloesm

designed by fia at fiasask

deep in the paper

i don't know how absolutely dorky this sounds...but i think i have a blog crush* - and it's on this blog, for sure. thank you seesaw, i'm crushing.

letterpress, yes - i've fallen in love with it because of them. and frank lloyd wright? the husband would be so proud.

a prayer every day.

some day, some f a r away day from now when the husband and i have children, i will pray everyday that they will be this beautiful.

too bad our chillins are destined to have not so lucious as lips as she.

*found via frolic

*picture from kenzo kids

live among the thorns

if i had a green thumb...

ok, you have to admit - the greenery on the rooftop of this boston home is amazing. the husband and i have finally come to a decision that we will be moving to salt lake again. we're not looking forward to the hustle and bustle we've become so unfamiliar with out on the farm.

but, it will be a new and wonderful adventure. plus, with more inspiration from apartment therapy i think the home we get into will end up being a sweet expression of who we are.

if there's beautiful greenery like this, we should be good.